Century Park Blog

Daily we find ourselves in a race – becoming, pursuing, and striving. Yet most times it is like "chasing after the wind."

Yesterday was National Centenarian's Day, and I had the awesome honor of stopping during my day and talking with Ina Kagel, a friend who turned 102 this past summer. Ina reminded me that when she was born, President Calvin Coolidge was president of the United States. Ina raised a family while working as a nurse, and over the years she has buried two husbands.

As we talked and laughed together, I asked Ina about some of her most memorable life lessons, and she was kind enough to share these with me. But after each lesson, Ina would stop every few sentences to remind me how much she loved me. At first, I dismissed her remarks, but then I realized it was her way of being totally present with me and pouring her goodness into our brief time together. Here are some of the lessons I learned from Ina...

Mind your own business. Ina was always busy. She reminded me that each day at the hospital brought people who needed a compassionate ear just as much as they needed their physical ailments attended to. Those who were hurting consumed her time at work, and when she arrived home, she honored her family with her attention and time.

Be courteous and kind. Ina was a loving yet strong mother. There were times at work and at home when she had to discipline her children or have a difficult conversation with one of her subordinates at work, but she tried to always keep kindness in her tone and her heart. Ina's motto is simple yet powerful: "Treat others as you would like to be treated even when you know the message may not be received well. You control only you!"

Listen to people, don't dismiss them. Ina told me a story about a person who remained anonymous, someone who kept cutting her off anytime Ina was talking with him. She then began to describe how distracted he seemed when she was talking. "That was just rude," she said. Clearly, this is behavior we should seek to avoid in our own daily interactions.

My Sunday chat with Ina was inspiring. Some may even think, isn't it wonderful to learn from people who are retired? But that is not what I learned from Ina. Certainly, with age comes invaluable wisdom and a depth of rich experience, but what I realized above all was that turning 100 years old did not change Ina Kagel. She has been on a journey for years to make the world a better place. Ina is not perfect; she admitted to having made lots of mistakes. But as I looked at her beautiful face and held her soft, tired hands, I was reminded that the best lives are lived with the end in mind.

Many of us are not guaranteed the vibrant gift of longevity like Ina, but to focus on that would be to miss the point. The quality of her life, not the duration, is what matters. By making intentional choices to "mind our own business," "be courteous and kind," and "listen to people," we can all lead lives that make a lasting impact.