Century Park Blog

First, Care for Yourself

On an airplane, an oxygen mask descends in front of you. What do you do? As we all know, the first rule is to put on your own oxygen mask before you assist anyone else. Only when we first help ourselves can we effectively help others. Caring for yourself is one of the most important—and one of the most often forgotten—things you can do as a caregiver. When your needs are taken care of, the person you care for will benefit also.

Taking Responsibility for Your Own Care

You cannot stop the impact of a chronic or progressive illness or a debilitating injury on someone for whom you care. But there is a great deal you can do to take responsibility for your personal well-being. The following are some effective tools for self-care that can start you on your way.

Tool #1: Reducing Personal Stress

How we perceive and respond to an event is a significant factor in how we adjust and cope with it. The stress you feel is not only the result of your caregiving situation but also the result of your perception of it. It is important to remember that you are not alone in your experiences.

It is important to recognize the warning signs of stress early. These might include irritability, sleep problems, and forgetfulness. Know your own warning signs and act to make changes. Don’t wait until you are overwhelmed. Stress reducers can be simple activities like walking and other forms of exercise, gardening, meditation, or having coffee with a friend.

Tool #2: Asking for and Accepting Help

When people have asked if they can be of help to you, how often have you replied, “Thank you, but I am fine.” You may not wish to “burden” others or admit that you can’t handle everything yourself.

There are many ways that someone can help. For example, someone could take the person you care for on a 15-minute walk a couple of times a week. Your neighbor could pick up a few things for you at the grocery store. A relative could fill out some insurance papers. When you break down the jobs into very simple tasks, it is easier for people to help. And they do want to help. It is up to you to tell them how.

Tool #3: Starting to Exercise

Exercise promotes better sleep, reduces tension and depression, and increases energy and alertness. If finding time for exercise is a problem, incorporate it into your daily activity. Perhaps the care recipient can walk or do stretching exercise with you. If necessary, do frequent short exercises instead of those that require large blocks of time. And find activities you enjoy.

Walking, one of the best and easiest exercises, is a great way to get started. Besides its physical benefits, walking helps to reduce psychological tension. Work walking into your life. Walk around the mall, to the store, or a nearby park. Walk around the block with a friend.

Tool #4: Learning from Our Emotions

It is a strength to recognize when your emotions are controlling you (instead of you controlling your emotions). Our emotions are messages to which we need to listen - they exist for a reason. However negative or painful, our feelings are useful tools for understanding what is happening to us. Even feelings such as guilt, anger, and resentment contain important messages. Learn from them and then take appropriate action.

Caregiving often involves a range of emotions. Some feelings are more comfortable than others. When you find that your emotions are intense, they might mean the following:

• That you need to make a change in your caregiving situation. • That you are grieving a loss.
• That you are experiencing increased stress.
• That you need to be assertive and ask for what you need.

Remember, it is not selfish to focus on your own needs and desires when you are a caregiver. It is an important part of the job as a caregiver. Remember, you are responsible for your own self-care.